John 14:18, I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.
This verse has always touched my heart. It's just one of those verses that can take a bad day and turn it into the most beautiful day.
Tonight God laid upon my heart to talk about depression and how the lies of the enemy trick us into thinking the worse. It's not a subject that most want to talk about and to be honest even myself because when I shared what was going on with me with others I was told I was being selfish and the stigma began to come upon me from people I was very close to.
I have battled this spirit since I can remember, which was around 5 years old. I don't think my mom and dad understood the true extent of what I was feeling. I myself didn't understand, I just knew that I didn't want to be sad. I had a hard time throughout my life making and keeping friends, because this spirit had me secluded from the world and to others I wasn't someone they wanted to be friends with. As I got older I tried hiding what I was feeling but people obviously could tell something wasn't good with me. So they naturally stayed away from me. Since Kenneth got sick it got worse because one minute life was great and the next everything was falling apart and we were losing everything in our lives that we had including people we loved.
Now, I am learning to not walk backwards but to walk forwards. God has brought healing to me personally and to my family over the past few years. Cleansing me from the inside out. It's very hard to feel different and try to be normal at the same time. Especially when it comes to people you are close to and they make comments like you are being selfish or they label you as being like someone they know and tell you they don't want to be around you. It's very hurtful. But I am realizing everyday that what people say or do doesn't matter. It's what God wants of you. I believe that my Father is full of love and understanding. Even in those moments sometimes when you want to break down. He said He will come to me and not leave me as an orphan. How much better is that? For me it brings me comfort because I know He has healed me. But for so many others, Christian and Non-Christian, sometimes it's hard to grasp that healing. I honestly can't imagine someone who doesn't know the Lord trying to deal with this terrible spirit. I pray for them because the pain for me at times was almost unbearable and for someone who doesn't know that the Lord is there for them it must be even more horrible. I am blessed in the fact that I have a supportive husband that the Lord blessed me with and an amazing God who loves no matter what comes. God can heal!! He can restore broken friendships if He so pleases. For me personally, I can look back and see why I was different than most people and why they shied away from me, but only from the flesh can I see why. For me in the Spirit of God I can see why He places people in our lives to help us along the way, if even for a season. I try to not judge someone who is different because I know what that feels like and it doesn't show who the Lord really is. Maybe just that hug and planting that seed of healing from the Lord is all that is needed for someone. We must remind ourselves that just because someone is a little different doesn't make them a bad person or someone you should avoid. God gives us discernment and the ability to show love beyond all measure. Even I need to use it especially knowing where I came from and where I am now.
Dear Father,
I thank you for my healing. I thank you for the restoration of peace, love and joy in the lives of all your people. Use us dear Lord as examples of how to be over comers through you. Bless those who are dealing with depression and bring in your army to help them fight. Bring people into their lives if they are not saved so that they too can come to know you and your healing power. Let us share the fact that you will never leave us nor forsake us but will come to us always. I praise you in everything I do dear Father and I love you with all of me. Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment